Wednesday, September 30, 2009

trivia nite at the local bar
and its too hard for the locals
so the bartender
a schoolteacher
dumbs it down
and theres questions like
"name the hole in your body that poo comes out?"
and everyone is happier

its a dangerous bar to have an opinion in
people ask loaded questions
depending on who is there
trying to get you to make a statement that amounts to fighting words
in someones worldview
its like a local form of cable down there
so itsa lotta fun
whose fighint in the alley tonight?

you can call someone an asshole
thats fine
we are all assholes down here

but never question the decisions
never rise to the bait
speak in generalities
when someone seeks specisifities at the bar its prolly cuz they want to see some fireworks
you were talking about the dog killing quarterback on the local sports team
you are against it
and hate the team for it now
you will have a lot of free time on sundays thanks local sports geniuses!

you just said dogs should run and frolic in the sun
which is why you dont have a dog
(if you love dogs so much........)

then the specifics come out
what do you think of someone that keeps dogs in a cage all day?
here is where you just know someone two stools down has pitbulls in his back room or something like that
weapons with fur

gotta love the logical traps of the hard of thinking

gotta love trivia questions like what planetary body is in the air during night time?
during day time?
during an eclipse?

i brought ringers
cuz i likes to win
and my lesbian posse knows alot more about music and history than me
so im now the king of trivia
scourge of jersey girls who threaten to kung fu your ass if you don't stop accusing them of cheating
even tho the red in her hair matches the color of her hands after "the incident"